So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
