i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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