At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
