They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
