Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
