I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize