I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
