I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
