Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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