Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
