I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
