There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My pussy is not your playground.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My bed smells like the plague
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize