I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
