i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize