tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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