Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize