Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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