Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ugly people sure do ruin things
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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