Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
