Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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