Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
40s are totally the cure
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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