I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
