she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
