One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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