Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
