You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
