Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You are a genius and a whore.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
