wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
