Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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