I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my poor anus
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
