not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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