I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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