i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
