Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize