Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
