We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
