I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
