i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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