yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
