Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
