How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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