Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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