The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
