Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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