I got chris browned last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
