I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
