I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
