so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
