i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
