I'm gonna have a badass scar
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
