I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
