i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
