so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize