i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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