You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The power of my boobs compel you
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize