I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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