My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
