I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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