She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
