I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
