Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
