It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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