New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
