mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize