dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
