adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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