You made me cry and you don't even care
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
