she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
