I wish I could punch you in the face.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
